*********************************************** The Personal Ad Translations (Part 1 - Women Seeking Men) *********************************************** A List of Abbreviations in the "Women Seeking Men" Classifieds: Code Word: 40-ish Really Means: 48 Code Word: Adventurous Really Means: Has had more partners than you ever will Code Word: Affectionate Really Means: Possessive Code Word: Artist Really Means: Unreliable Code Word: Athletic Really Means: Flat chested Code Word: Average looking Really Means: Ugly Code Word: Beautiful Really Means: Pathological liar Code Word: Commitment-minded Really Means: Pick out curtains, now! Code Word: Communication important Really Means: Just try to get a word in edge-wise Code Word: Contagious Smile Really Means: Bring your penicillin Code Word: Educated Really Means: College dropout Code Word: Emotionally Secure Really Means: Medicated Code Word: Employed Really Means: Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home Code Word: Enjoys art and opera Really Means: Snob Code Word: Enjoys Nature Really Means: Bring your own granola Code Word: Exotic Beauty Really Means: Would frighten a Martian Code Word: Feminist Really Means: Fat; ball buster Code Word: Financially Secure Really Means: One paycheck from the street Code Word: Free spirit Really Means: Substance user Code Word: Friendship first Really Means: Trying to live down reputation as slut Code Word: Fun Really Means: Annoying Code Word: Gentle Really Means: Comatose Code Word: Good Listener Really Means: Borderline Autistic Code Word: Humorous Really Means: Caustic Code Word: Intuitive Really Means: Your opinion doesn't count Code Word: In Transition Really Means: Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills Code Word: Light drinker Really Means: Lush Code Word: Looks younger Really Means: If viewed from far away in bad light Code Word: Loves Travel Really Means: If you're paying Code Word: Loves Animals Really Means: Cat lady Code Word: Mature Really Means: Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did Code Word: New-Age Really Means: All body hair, all the time Code Word: Non-tradional Really Means: Ex-husband lives in the basement Code Word: Old-fashioned Really Means: Lights out, missionary position only Code Word: Open-minded Really Means: Desperate Code Word: Outgoing Really Means: Loud Code Word: Passionate Really Means: Loud Code Word: Petite Really Means: Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins Code Word: Poet Really Means: Depressive Schzophrenic Code Word: Professional Really Means: Bitch Code Word: Redhead Really Means: Shops on the Clairol aisle Code Word: Reliable Really Means: Frumpy Code Word: Reubenesque Really Means: Grossly Fat Code Word: Romantic Really Means: Looks better by candle light Code Word: Self-employed Really Means: Jobless Code Word: Smart Really Means: Insipid Code Word: Special Really Means: Rode the short schoolbus Code Word: Spiritual Really Means: Involved with a cult Code Word: Stable Really Means: Boring Code Word: Tall, thin Really Means: Anorexic Code Word: Tan Really Means: Wrinkled Code Word: Voluptuous Really Means: Very Fat Code Word: Weight proportional to height Really Means: Hugely Fat Code Word: Wants Soulmate Really Means: One step away from stalking Code Word: Widow Really Means: Nagged first husband to death Code Word: Writer Really Means: Pompous Code Word: Young at heart Really Means: Toothless crone