>Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? > A: 45 lbs. > > Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? > A: 45 minutes. > > Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? > A: Sexual harassment. > > Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? > A: $3.99 a minute. > > Q: What is the definition of "making love"? > A: Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. > > Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? > A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy. > > Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? > A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. > > Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? > A: The sex is the same but you get the remote. > > Q: What's the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.? > A: It took 12 jerks to get O.J. off. > > Q: How do we know God is a man? > A: Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate. > > Q: What would you call a lesbian with thick fingers? > A: Well-hung. > > Q: What's another term for lesbian? > A: "Vagitarian." > > Q: Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair? > A: Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up > with mud. > > Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? > A: The swallow. > > Q: What does a Polish woman do after she sucks a cock? > A: Spits out the feathers. > > Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? > A: Humpme Dumpme. >> >============================================================= > > Give Me Breasts > > A flat-chested woman walks into an antique store. She spots a > rather unique, old mirror, with a $5000.00 price tag on it. She > asks the shopkeeper about the mirror. He tells her it is one of > a kind, with special powers. He tells her it grants wishes. She > is so excited, she whips out her checkbook, and writes a check > for the full amount. When she gets it home, she hangs it up and > says "Mirror, Mirror on the door. Make my chest a 44!" > > The next thing she knows, her breasts are growing in size, > literally busting out of her blouse. She is astonished! Later > her husband comes home, and is amazed to find his buxom wife. She > tells him all about the mirror. He doesn't believe it. He > stands in front of the mirror and says "Mirror, Mirror on the > door. Make my cock touch the floor!"