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Message-ID: <336E42F4.717D@amsusa.com>
Date: Mon, 05 May 1997 13:28:36 -0700
From: Lashell Grillo 
Reply-To: amswest@amsusa.com
Organization: Advanced Management Solutions
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To: Gus.Gutzat@den.mmc.com, emlivesey@geocities.com, amseast@surfusa.com,
        fbobe@amsusa.com, davidson@amsusa.com
Subject: What Do Men Know????
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MEN JOKES...
     
# Why do men like love at first sight?
              It saves them a lot of time.
     
#  A woman of 35 thinks of having children.  What does a man of 35 
think of?
              Dating children.
     
#  How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
              In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
     
# What should you give a man who has everything?
              A woman to show him how to work it.
     
#  Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
             To stop the snoring before it starts.
     
# Why don't men have mid-life crises?
              They stay stuck in adolescence.
     
#  How does a man show he's planning for the future?
                He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
     
#  How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
              All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
     
# How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
              At the circus the clowns don't talk.
     
# What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
              The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
     
#  What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
             Exchange him.
     
# Why do men like smart women?
              Opposites attract.
     
# Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
             They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't
work half the time.
     
# What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
          After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
     
# Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
           Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until
next time.
     
# Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
           Breasts don't have eyes.
     
# What is the thinnest book in the world?
           What Men Know About Women
     
#  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
            One.  Men will screw anything!
     
# What's a man's idea of foreplay?
          A half hour of begging.
     
# How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
           He's breathing.
     
# What's the difference between men and government bonds?
           Bonds mature.
     
# How do you save a man from drowning?
           Take your foot off his head.
     
# Why are blonde jokes so short?
            So men can remember them.
     
# What do men and beer bottles have in common?
          They're both empty from the neck up.
     
# How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
           We don't know-it's never happened.