Received: from e1.empirenet.com (root@e1.empirenet.com [205.164.88.1]) by e2.empirenet.com (8.8.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id NAA26277; Mon, 5 May 1997 13:34:23 -0700 (PDT) Received: from e2.empirenet.com (root@e2.empirenet.com [205.164.88.2]) by e1.empirenet.com (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id NAA24165; Mon, 5 May 1997 13:34:23 -0700 Received: from LASHELL (ip-21-004.phx.primenet.com [206.165.21.4]) by e2.empirenet.com (8.8.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id NAA26021; Mon, 5 May 1997 13:26:57 -0700 (PDT) Message-ID: <336E42F4.717D@amsusa.com> Date: Mon, 05 May 1997 13:28:36 -0700 From: Lashell GrilloReply-To: amswest@amsusa.com Organization: Advanced Management Solutions X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01Gold (Win95; I; 16bit) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Gus.Gutzat@den.mmc.com, emlivesey@geocities.com, amseast@surfusa.com, fbobe@amsusa.com, davidson@amsusa.com Subject: What Do Men Know???? Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mozilla-Status: 0001 MEN JOKES... # Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time. # A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children. # How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. # What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. # Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. # Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence. # How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. # How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs. # How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk. # What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. # What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him. # Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. # Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time. # What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. # Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time. # Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. # What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women # How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Men will screw anything! # What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. # How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing. # What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature. # How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head. # Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. # What do men and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the neck up. # How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know-it's never happened.