A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.  He orders a drink and while
he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place.  The monkey
grabs some olives off the bar and eats them,  then grabs some limes and eats
them; he then jumps onto the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in
his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No what?" said the guy.

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!" said the bartender.

"Yeah that doesn't surprise me" replied the patron.  "He eats everything in
sight, the little jerk.  I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff"  He
finished his drink, paid the bill and left the bar.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again and he has his monkey with him.  He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around.  While the man is
finishing his drink the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.  He
grabs it and sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted.  "Did you see what your monkey did now?" He asks.

"Now what?" asks the patron.

"Well he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate
it." says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me"  replied the guy.  "He still eats
everything in sight but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures
everything first."