>Return-Path:>X-Sender: dawn@mail-1.ns.net >Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 08:33:00 +0300 >To: gumpgirl@hotmail.com, brecht@std.teradyne.com, cynthia@casto.com, > JenLouks@aol.com, jerica@cruzio.com, JMarkiewic@os.varian.com, > BoogieJon@aol.com, Judy Fischette , > Lisa Inman , lorellh@pa.mother.com (M or L Hardaker), > markland@leland.stanford.edu (Mark Landefeld), > Merry Holliday-Hanson , > baerm , morourke@compuserve.com, > neesesr@mother.com, pmoyes@ns.net (Peter Moyes), > Russell Fox , musolino@irrma.epfl.ch >From: dawn@ns.net (Dawn Hardaker) >Subject: Fwd: Political Ideologies and Cows (fwd) > >Thoroughly enjoyed this. Think you will, too. Ciao! (for now, brown cow...) > >---------- Forwarded message ---------- >WORLD IDEOLOGIES AS EXPLAINED BY REFERENCE TO COWS > >FEUDALISM >You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. > >PURE SOCIALISM >You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn >with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The >government gives you a glass of milk. > >BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM >Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of >the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The >government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should >need. > >FASCISM >You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of >them, and sells you the milk. > >PURE COMMUNISM >You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker >about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". >Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows die of >starvation. > >RUSSIAN COMMUNISM >You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government >takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it >on the black market. > >PERESTROIKA >You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes >all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the >"free" market. > >CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM >You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. > >DICTATORSHIP >You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. > >PURE DEMOCRACY >You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk. > >REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY >You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the >milk. > >BUREAUCRACY >You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed >them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. >Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down >the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the >missing cows. > >CAPITALISM >You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, >because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral. > >PURE ANARCHY >You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your >neighbours try to take the cows and kill you. > >ANARCHO-CAPITALISM >You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. > >SURREALISM >You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. > >OLYMPICS-ISM >You have two cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling >violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates >the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing >up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing >that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and >watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins >the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, >and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The >Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government >officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat >and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant. > > > >--- end forwarded text > > >The power of being alone with earth and skies >Of going about a task with quietude >Aware at once of earth's surrounding mood >And of an insect crawling on a stone. > >-Vita Sackville-West, "The Land" > > > "Many things, having full reference to one consent, may work contrariously; as many arrows, loosed several ways, fly to one mark; as many ways meet in one town; as many fresh streams meet in one salt sea; as many lines close in the dial's center; so may a thousand actions, once afoot, end in one purpose, and be all well borne without defeat." Henry V, I, ii, 205 -William Shakespere