"St. Patrick's Day is a very dangerous day." (Rocko)

-Brian

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A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder 
going into the clouds.  As any of us would do, he climbed the 
ladder.  He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather 
plump and very ugly woman.  "Screw me or climb the ladder to 
success" she said.

No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the 
next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who 
was slightly easier on the eye.  "Screw me hard me or climb 
the ladder to success" she said.  "Well", thought the man, 
"might as well carry on.

On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this 
time, was quite attractive.  "Screw me now or climb the ladder 
to success" she uttered.  

As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man 
thought to himself that this was getting better the further he 
went.  

On the next cloud was an absolute beauty.  Slim, attractive, the 
lot.  "Screw me me or climb the ladder to success" she flirted.  

Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a 
gambling man, he decided to climb again.

When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly 
man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his head.

"Who are you?" the man asked. 

"Hello" said the ugly fat man said, "my name's Cess!"