And now for today's installment of "E-mail jokes from Brian". (catchy title, huh?) Enjoy! Brian Murphy "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Dennis Miller ----------------------- A guy responds to a job position at the city zoo. The ad mentioned the salary but not what he would be doing. Come to find out that the zoo's gorilla had unexpectedly passed away. The zoo had just spent millions on promotions which focused on the gorilla and now they needed a gorilla. The guy really needed the job and the money was good so he accepted. Everyday he would put on the gorilla suit, hang out in his cage and be the gorilla. After a while he started enjoying himself. He would scare little kids, roar at the crowds, and eat bananas and stuff. As time wore on he became the main attraction at the zoo. He would swing on his trees and vines, and the people loved him. One particularly busy Saturday he was swinging around and accidentally swings over his fence and lands in the lions cage. Thelion slowly opens his eyes and sees the gorilla. The lion begins to stalk. The lion, now drooling and wide awake, slowly approaches the gorilla who is backed up against the fence. The lion is ready to jump, then the gorilla started yelling, "Help! Help! I'm not a gorilla. I'm a man! help, help !!" Then the lion said, " Shut-up stupid, or we'll both get fired! " ++++++++++++++++++++++++ A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!", she told him earnestly. "Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "Does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "Yes, that feels pretty good... but my thumb still hurts like hell!