FEMALE to ENGLISH DICTIONARY
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Can't we just be friends?........
.........There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your
body touch any part of mine again.
 
I just need some space.......
.........without you in it.
     
Do I look fat in this dress?............
.............We haven't had a fight in a while. 
     
No, pizza's fine..............
...........Cheap bastard!
    
I just do not want a boyfriend now..............
..........I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. 
   
I don't know; what do you want to do?...........
..........I can't believe that you have nothing planned.
   
Come here..........
.........My puppy does this too
  
I like you, but.........
..........I don't like you.
     
You never listen............
...........You never listen.
    
We're moving too quickly..........
..........I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this
guy at  the gym has a girlfriend.
   
I'll be ready in a minute.........
.......I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know
you will.
     
Oh, no, I will pay for myself...........
.........I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch. 
     
Oh YES!!!  Right there.............
..........Well, near there; I just want to get this over with. 
    
I'm just going out with the girls..........
.........We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.
   
There's no one else..........
.........I am doing your brother. 
     
Size doesn't matter............
...........unless I want an orgasm. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink.  She looks vaguely familiar
to
the bartender who then strikes up a conversation.  She says that she
used
to be a guy who frequented the bar but has spent months undergoing the
sex
change.

The bartender become curious and asks her, "What was the most painful
part
about becoming a woman?  Was it when they sliced open your chest and put
in
the implants?"  "No", replied the woman.

The bartender then asked, "Was it when they cut off your dick and turned
it
inside out to make a vagina?"  "No", replied the woman.

The bartender is dumbfounded and then asks, "Well, then, what was the
most
painful part of becoming a woman?"

She replied, "It was when they stuck the big needle in my ear and sucked
out half of my brain."