The Top 15 Ways O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million
 
 15.Host a Celebrity Stab-A-Thon.
 
 14.Negotiate with the National Enquirer to admit to the
 Olympic bombing and the assasination of JFK.
 
 13.Hit Kato up for back rent.
 
 12.Tour guide for Hell, Michigan.
 
 11."I Fought the Law: An Evening in Vegas with O.J.
 Simpson and Richard Jewell."
 
 10.Host a TV program about mysterious disappearances of
 spouses, called the "EX-FILES."
 
 9.Contact the Democratic National Committee fund raisers.
 
 8.Get enormous breast implants; marry an old blind
 billionaire.
 
 7.Develop super-duper coffee mug - sell a dozen to the
 Pentagon for $2,791,666.67 million each.
 
 6.Arrangement with Satan to receive a penny every time
 someone thinks he should burn in Hell.
 
 5."Borrow back" from criminal trial jury.
 
 4.Write a "Homicide for Dummies" book.
 
 3.Open a "Kick Me for $5" booth. Wait.
 
 2."I'll take 'Golf Courses of Southern California' for 33.5
 Million, Alex."
 
 and the Number 1 Way O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million...
 
 1.Invest $67 million in Apple Computer.