Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal(c) Challenge!
Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)...
women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the restroom that MUST
be followed.
The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
| | | x | | | x | indicates men are at stalls 3
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | and 6.
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You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which
you are to correctly stand. Good luck!
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Easy Section
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1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Stalls 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: __
1 (easy). 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
2.)
| x | | | | | | (1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: __
2 (easy). 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
greater risk of being next to someone
who arrives later.
Kind of tricky Section:
3.)
| | | | | | | (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
--------------------------
Your choice: __
3 (kind of tricky). 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying, "I
don't want anyone next to me."
4.)
| | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
4 (kind of tricky). 1 You're stuck being next to at
least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if you
can help it. Exceptions to this
are stadium restrooms where the
herd thunders in.
- < Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section -
| | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: __
5 (HARD!). 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples"
you with the guy in stall 2. And we
wouldn't want THAT now, would we? ;-D
This differs from question 4 in such a
subtle way that the nuances cannot be
explained. Suffice to say, only we men
would understand!
- << VERY tricky indeed Section -
6.)
| x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
6 (DAMN HARD!). NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to
comb your hair or straighten a tie until the
urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to
go REAL, REAL BAD...for god's sake,
man!...use a doored stall.
Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the
highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
you there. I will not look again".
-- If in doubt, stare straight ahead or at the ceiling. When you
must look down it is critical that your head be perpendicular
to your shoulders.
-- Minimize your shaking!