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Date: Fri, 18 Oct 1996 10:07:04 -0700
From: "Christopher C. Marcotte" 
Organization: Cabletron Systems, Inc.
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To: Brian Murphy , Eccentric Monthly ,
        John Wiebe , Scot Sahai ,
        toddl@ctron.com, mherbert@ctron.com, manzi@ctron.com,
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Subject: [Fwd: all sorts of goodies!!!]
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Stefan and Grandpa:  Stefan and his grandfather are fishing.
 Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have
 one of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your
 asshole?"  To which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have
 one."
 
 A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I
 have one of those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch
your
 asshole?" to which the little boy responds "No." "Then you can't have
 one."
 
 Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and
each
 buy a lottery ticket.  Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says "I
 just won $50,000" Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with
 me, right?" The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to
 touch your asshole?" "Yes," Says grandpa.  "Then go fuck yourself"
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------
 A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.  As she takes off
 her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.  "How did you get that
 mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.  "Oh, my boyfriend went to
Harvard
 and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt,
 even when we make love," she replies.
 
 A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.  As she
 takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.  "How did you
 get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went
to
 Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale
 sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
 
 A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.  As she
 takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.  "Do you
have
 a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.  "No, but I have a
girlfriend
 at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"
 
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He
 goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.  The
clerk
 takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can
 see my house all the way up on that hill".  The man takes a look
through
 the scope, and starts laughing.  "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I
 see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house", the man
 replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his
house.
 Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets,
 I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets,
 shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off".  The man takes
 another look through the scope, and says, "You know what?  I think I
can
 do that with one shot!"
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Three women are having lunch, discussing their husbands.
 
 The first says, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it.  I found
 a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren't mine!"
 
 The second says, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it.  I ound
 a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my sewing
 needle!"
 
 The third woman fainted.
 
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch.  Not
 finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads
upstairs
 to check her bedroom.
 
 He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also
 come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked,
 heavily into the act of lovemaking.
 
 Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing
 was wrong.
 
 Billy watches, and after a couple of minutes asks, "Daddy, can I climb
 on and have a horsie ride?"
 
 "Of course, Son, we're a family."
 
 So Billy climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts
 moaning and writhing wildly.
 
 "Hang on Dad!", cries Billy, "this is where me and the mailman usually
 fall off!"
 


-- 
Chris Marcotte
Spectrum QA
7-7772


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