"Out there at Kennedy Airport, they confiscated $12 million worth of
cocaine. The cops became suspicious when they saw a big box addressed
to Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin."
-David Letterman
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Q: What do you call 40 millionaires watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Cowboys
Q: What's another name for a Texas Crime Ring?
A: A Dallas Cowboys Huddle.
Q: Why is Jerry Jones mad at Leon Lett?
A. Because he chose coke over Pepsi.
Q. How do you get 52 Dallas Cowboys to stand all at once?
A. "Will the defendant please rise?"
Q: Why is Michael Irvin like a social disease?
A: He's embarassing, he goes away for a few weeks but then comes
back, and he responds well to drugs.
Q: If Michael Irvin, Leon Lett, and Erik Williams are riding in a
car, who's driving?
A: The cop.
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Jerry Jones calls Michael Irvin in for a meeting:
"Michael" he says, That was a close one & you'll have to be careful
from now on."
"What do you recommend boss?"
"From now on it's Pepsi & Nike, not COKE & NOOKIE"
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Two boys were playing football (supposedly in Washington D.C. area)
in a park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly,
the other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the
dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to
interview the boy.
"Washington Redskin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts
writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Redskins fan," the boy replied.
"Baltimore Ravens fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the
reporter starts again.
"I'm not a Ravens fan either," the boy said.
"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan."
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,"Redneck
bastard kills family pet."
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Michael Irvin recently demanded a trade from the Cowboys to the
Eagles, because he wanted the crack in the Liberty Bell.
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Do you know how to do the Dallas Cowboys version of the Macarena?
- Stand a foot away from a wall.
- Place one hand on the wall, and then the other.
- Spead one leg, then the other.
- Place one hand behind your head, and then the other.
- Place one hand behind your back, and then the other.
- Have the policeman handcuff one hand, then the other.
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Bumper sticker seen on a police car in the Dallas, Texas area: GO
COWBOYS!...and take the Mavericks with you.
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The Cowboys employ scouts. But not to watch other teams. To look out
for cops.
--The Miami Herald
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The joke in Big D these days is that the 'Boys go out on the town
wearing three championship rings and a home-confinement bracelet.