Here's a couple joke type things based on the 12 days of Christmas.


First, one for the politically correct:

>On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
>potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me,
>
>TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.
>
>ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
>members
>in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their
>union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)
>
>TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
>ruling class system leaping,
>
>NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
>
>EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
>from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
>
>SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
>
>SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,
>
>FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
>incarceration,
>
>(NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw
>red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge
>have been reintroduced to their native habitat.  To avoid further
>animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
>revised.)
>
>FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
>
>THREE deconstructionist poets,
>
>TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
>
>and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.


And now for those nerdly computer/engineer type people:

> This is a sing-along.  OK now -- EVERYBODY SING!
> 
>           The 12 Bugs of Christmas
>           --------------------------------
> 
>           For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Find a way around it
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Blame it on the hardware
>                  Find a way around it
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Change the documentation
>                  Blame it on the hardware
>                  Find a way around it
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Say it's not supported
>                  Change the documentation
>                  Blame it on the hardware
>                  Find a way around it
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again.
> 
>           For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
>                  Tell them it's a feature
>                  Say it's not supported
>                  Change the documentation
>                  Blame it on the hardware
>                  Find a way around it
>                  Say they need an upgrade
>                  Reinstall the software
>                  Ask for a dump
>                  Run with the debugger
>                  Try to reproduce it
>                  Ask them how they did it and
>                  See if they can do it again


Merry Christmas to all!